Overcoming the Past
by XtremeLUXfan
Summary: Lux has issues with her birth parents. They need to work out their issues with each other, and also need to figure out how to become a family. In order for them to do this they need talk, even if the conversations may hurt.
1. Learning to Trust

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of the characters or the TV show.**

***Also I might make mistakes and such, but really I'm just writing this cause I don't like waiting a week for more LUX!!!**

****Written from either LUX/CATE/or BAZE's point of view. It's mostly going to be CATE/BAZE/LUX trying to build their relationships to become a family.**

**LUX**

"Lux? Come on kiddo let me explain!" Baze continues to yell through the closed attic door.

"Can you just go away? I want to be alone right now!" I just couldn't deal with this, not yet.

"Ugh… Fine, but I'm waiting downstairs 'til you come down!"

I didn't answer him, and heard him walk away. Earlier today I walked into Baze's loft and overheard him talking to someone on the phone about our whole "situation." He once again brought up the fact that he thought Cate "took care of it." I know I heard him say that before, but I guess I was just hoping, now that I got to know him a little, he would never bring it up again! I get that they were my age, but I don't know, it hurts a little knowing Cate may have considered aborting me. I probably should go talk to both of them about this, but maybe it's too soon. I don't know really! Is there a timeline on this kinda thing?

BAZE

I can't get Lux to talk to me, so I wander into the family room and sit down on the couch next to Cate. She is giving me a weird kind of smirk. I know she is happy that Lux is mad at me finally and not her.

"So where's Ryan?" I ask sarcastically.

"O no, no, no! Don't try and pretend nothing happened! What did you do to Lux? You two never fight?"

"I was having a conversation with my mom… about Lux. She was asking me questions… why I didn't tell her and stuff. Then she asked me about the adoption, and I told her I thought you `took care of it`. And well that's when Lux walked in!" Cate was just staring at me so I continued. "I mean that's what you told me you were going to do Cate! So that was the last I knew about the baby! I was just telling mom the truth! … But Cate, umm, well I'm glad you didn't' do it." I looked at Cate who had tears in her eyes, and waited for a reply.

"Me too, I'm glad. I know Lux and I fight A LOT, but I really love her and…" Cate put her hand over her mouth and just shook her head like she didn't know what else to say.

We sat on the couch in silence for what seemed like a long time, until finally Lux emerged from the attic.

"I'm still not talking to you!" She headed to the kitchen to get a drink, and Cate and I followed her.

"That's fine, but I am going to talk to you. 'Cause you HAVE to know Lux that I'm GLAD Cate decided to have you." I wait for an answer, but Lux just pauses and heads toward the attic.

"Wait Lux," Cate shouts. "Baze is right we really should all sit and talk about this… just get it out and deal with it now!"

"Okay let's talk… about the fact that you two wanted to get rid of me!" Lux shouts back at us. "Baze wanted you to abort me and you Cate… well I don't know what you wanted! I mean obviously you didn't abort me, but you still got rid of me!"

"Yes because I was 16!! 16 Lux! I was scared and I didn't know what to do!"

"And I was an idiot jock. I only thought about myself, and my future as a quarterback at the time." I didn't know what else to say to her. I figured honesty was the way to go here.

"Yeah I understand you were both young, in high school, and had grades, football whatever else on your mind… I don't know though there had to be a better option. What about your parents Baze? They could have helped!" Lux looked at me with questioning eyes.

"Maybe, but I was a coward. A kid would have been a commitment. And you've met my dad… at the time I was just worried about how pissed he would be!"

"…uhh…" Lux looked away, I could see she was about to cry. "I guess I see what you're saying. It's just that… when I hear you talk about stuff like getting rid of me, or never even considering keeping me I just…" Lux was crying now.

"Lux please talk to us. We want to know how you're feeling." Cate says as she walks over to Lux, who is still leaning against the attic ladder, and puts her hand on her shoulder.

"Even if you think we can't take it! Just lay it on us!" I add.

"Fine… When I hear you, you know say stuff like that, I think about all the times that I had wished I wasn't alive. You don't know how many times I wished that my birth mom HAD just gotten rid of me!" Lux looked at each of us.

"Lux…" I said trying to calm her down a little.

"NO… you want me to talk so I'm doing the talking!" Lux yelled at us. "I lived with 7 different foster families, and not one of them offered me a good home! I mean sure I had a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head, but no one ever LOVED me! No one ever cared enough to find out where I was going or how I was doing in school! I've been abused mentally, physically, you name it! So don't `Lux` me when I tell you that there were times I wished I hadn't been born." Lux looked at both of us and you could tell from the look in her eyes that she could see our concern, but she continued, her voice a little softer now. "Look... What's happened is over and nothing can change the outcome, but you both HAVE to know that every time I look at you I think about what could have been, and how different my life would have been…"

"I went to the abortion clinic." Cate blurted out. "I was going to do it, but on my way there I kept seeing signs about abortion and there were pictures of babies. So when I got to the clinic, I had this image in my mind of you and what you might look like. Did you have toes, or a tiny little face? I ran out of there. I just couldn't do it! Then my mom helped me through the whole adoption process. You have to know that I really thought it was the right thing to do. The social worker promised that there were a lot of people out there looking for babies and that you would easily be placed! I didn't know… I honestly didn't know you weren't placed!"

"I believe you Cate, really I do." Lux said sincerely as she turned to give her a hug.

"And Lux maybe at the time I thought the best decision was to… well you know… BUT PLEASE know that I am SOO GLAD that Cate decided to have you! I've only known you a few weeks kiddo, but it feels like a lifetime! I mean we have a bond, and Lux I think I speak for both of us here… we love you already. Like it or not you're stuck with us now!" I can't take my eyes off of my daughter as she wipes the tears from her eyes and gives me a shy smile before giving me a hug. It's the first time she ever hugged me and I'm completely overwhelmed with emotion!

"I love you both too. And I'm glad we talked about this! I do want this to work out. Us being a family and all!"

"I want that too." Cate said and smiled at Lux and I.

* * *

More to come later if people like this. I have more ideas in mind that can keep this story going. There are lots of issues and cool things to expore with Lux and her parents!


	2. Can't Forget

**2 DAYS LATER**

**LUX POV**

The past two days have been great! I feel like we all understand each other a little better. There are still a lot of things we need to talk about, but it will come out when the time is right. Tonight we are having a family dinner, Cate, Baze, Ryan, and I. So I'm shopping with Cate trying to find a simple enough meal for her to cook.

"Spaghetti. It's easy to cook, and it would be very hard to screw it up." I looked over at Cate waiting for an answer, but she was just laughing.

"You know me better than that by now! I can screw up a boxed meal, and all you have to do with those is put them in the oven!"

I was laughing now. Since I've been at Cate's house, we have either eaten out or bought already cooked meals. "I'll help you. Not that I can cook either, but we can try together, right?"

"Okay, that would be nice." Cate answered.

Cate and I walked through the aisles picking up everything we needed to cook our dinner. We were walking down the aisle to get the sauce, and that's when I heard a familiar voice. Instinctively I hid behind Cate as best I could. I heard the voice again and I just knew it was him, there really wasn't a reason to look, but I did anyway just to be sure. Yup there he was, one of my old foster dad's! He was horrible to me. Suddenly he turned and looked at me and I got nervous, and wanted to cry. I couldn't stand there anymore; I had to get away! "Umm… I'll umm… meet you at home later." I said as I slowly backed away. I heard Cate yell my name, but I ran out of the store before she could even process what just happened.

* * *

**CATE POV**

_Cate is sitting in her car at the store talking to Baze on the phone._

"I tried calling her cell phone, but she isn't answering!" I was freaking out about what just happened. "It was so random. I mean one minute we were laughing and having fun together, and the next, well she just ran out!"

"And you don't remember anything else that happened right before she ran out? Did you say something to upset her or…?"

"NO I DIDN'T SAY SOMETHING TO UPSET HER! Why would you say that?"

"Ok, ok just calm down. I'm just trying to help you get to the bottom of this."

I know he was just trying to be nice, but Lux and I have been in a really good place lately and I wish he understood that better. "You're right, I know! I just hate that whenever something happens, she just runs from it! Look will you call me if you hear from her or if she shows up at your place."

"Of course I will Cate. And you… go home and wait. She is probably heading there anyway."

"Yea, I'm sure she's there. See you at dinner."

I hung up the phone and looked in my rearview mirror to backup. I noticed a guy looking at me. When he realized I had seen him, he quickly turned and walked away. I quickly called Baze back to let him know what happened, as I headed home.

* * *

**LUX POV**

After I left the store I went to get Tosha. She is the only one I ever told about what happened when I lived with this particular foster family. We went to a park and were just walking in silence. I told her what had happened but she knew, as best friends do, that sometimes just being around someone who understands is the best medicine. She knew that I would talk about it sooner or later. In my pocket, my cell phone kept going off. I had a bunch of missed calls from my parents and even a few from Ryan. I took it out and turned it off.

"Don't you think you should answer one of them? I mean just tell them you're ok or something."

"Yeah probably… but no. I know we've talked about what this guy did too me, but we talked it out a long time ago and I never thought I would have to bring it up again! But now… Baze, Cate, Ryan… well they're going to ask questions!" I sat down on a bench and Tasha followed.

"I understand. I mean what that guy did to you was horrible. He molested you in everyway possible! But Lux you obviously haven't come to terms with it. Maybe telling someone else other than me would help."

"NO! NO WAY! I can't talk about that with anyone else! It's embarrassing… AND it will hurt them, in more than one way! No I can't tell them… I'll just make something else up! I'll just tell Cate I suddenly felt sick or something!"

"Like she's gonna believe that! You ran out of the store! If you were sick you would have run to the bathroom!"

"Right… I don't know I'll think of something!" I knew Tasha was right. I should tell my parents what happened. Let them into my life a little more, but I just can't imagine having to bring it up again, let alone have them asking questions or having to see the hurt look on their faces.

"Lux, I'm really sorry this is all happening to you, but I have to go. I have a meeting with a potential new foster family. But I can skip it… I mean you don't look okay! I'll just stay here with you."

"No you should go, I'll be fine." I lied. I smiled a little at her and gave her a hug.

"I'll call you later okay…"

I watched as Tasha walked away. I was all alone, which is something I'm way to used too. I wondered what to do next. All I knew is that I didn't want to talk about this with my new family, but I couldn't get my mind to shut off. All I can think about is him and what happened and I just need it to go away. So instead of going home I decide to take some time to myself… I'll just go find a quiet place where I can be alone.


	3. Denial

**BAZE's POV**

After I had heard from Cate about the guy at the store who had been watching her, I headed straight over to her house. When I got there Ryan and Cate were in the kitchen discussing what had happened earlier that day.

"So do you think that this guy you saw had something to do with why Lux got spooked and ran out?" Ryan asked.

"I don't know maybe. She did try to hide behind me… at least that's what I think she was doing." Cate answered.

I walked in and sat down at the counter. "So I stopped by Bug's place on the way over. He was home, but he said he hasn't seen or heard from Lux all day. I asked him if she might be with Tasha, but he said she's doing something else today. I don't know where else to look."

"What if she goes to the bar?" Ryan asked.

"Jamie or Math will be there, but she'll come here. She knows we are having dinner, so she'll be here!" I must not have been convincing, because they just sat there and stared at me. "I say we cook dinner so when she shows up, we'll have something to eat."

I finally got Cate and Ryan on board and the 3 of us cooked dinner. It was weird hanging out with them without Lux around. I'm not a fan of Ryan, but if I want more of Lux in my life, I have to learn to get along with him. After about an hour we finished cooking and there was still no sign of Lux. I tried calling her cell phone one more time, but her phone was turned off now.

"She's not coming is she?" Cate asked, knowing the answer.

I watched as Ryan went over and gave her a hug. I turned away so I wouldn't have to see those two together. We sat in silence for a long time while we ate some spaghetti, and then sat quietly a little longer until finally the phone rang. Cate answered it.

"Hi Tasha! O my gosh please tell me you've seen Lux?" Cate sounded frantic. "You did? When? (Pause) Well was she ok? (Long Pause) Do you know where she might have gone? … No she's not there Baze stopped by his place. (Pause) Ok thanks, I'll let her know you called." Cate hung up the phone and looked at us.

"So what's the verdict?" I asked.

"Tasha was with her earlier today, but hasn't seen or heard from her in hours. She said Lux was really upset, but she didn't say why." Cate was tearing up. "I'm worried, I mean do you think she's ok? Should we call the cops? What do we do here?"

"I think we need to stay calm, and just wait. She'll show up." Ryan said.

"As much as I hate to admit it, Ryan's right. I think this is how she deals with her problems. She takes off. She isn't used to people worrying about her. This `having a family` thing is new to her." I can't believe I agreed with Ryan, but I just have a gut feeling she would be home tonight.

"Well I guess you're not leaving then until she gets home?!?" Ryan questioned.

I looked at Cate then back at Ryan. "Of course I'm not leaving til she gets back. She's my kid!" Ryan accepted that answer, and we all moved into the family room to sit and wait for Lux. Cate put in a movie, to cut the tension and awkwardness in the room, but I'm pretty sure none of us were paying attention to it. That movie ended and Cate got up and put in another movie. This was going to be a long night.

**CATE's POV**

We were over half the way through the second movie when I heard the door knob turn. I looked at Baze and Ryan and they had heard it too. I quickly stopped the movie and looked at the clock, it was 2 in the morning! I turned my attention to the door. The door opened slow and then was shut carefully like she was trying not to make any noise. She started to walk quietly through the room we were sitting in, so I flipped on the lights. She jumped a little, and then realized she was probably in trouble. "Where have you been? It's 2am! Do you realize how worried we were?"

"I was just hanging out…with Tasha. No big deal!" Lux shot back.

"Except that you weren't with Tasha." Baze accused. "You weren't with Tasha cause Tasha called here looking for you!"

"Right… I was with Tasha earlier, but then I went to…" Lux started, but didn't finish before Ryan cut in.

"Bug's?… Yeah we know you weren't there either. Quit lying Lux and just tell us what's going on with you?"

Lux turned away from us. It seemed obvious by the way she was acting, that she wasn't going to tell us anything, so I decided to try. "Lux, at the store earlier, something happened. After you ran out, I went to leave and noticed some guy staring at me. He was about Baze's height, blond, and had a big nose." That got a reaction out of her.

"Why are you telling me this?" Lux asked.

"Because," I answered… "because I think you know who he is."

"Well I don't ok, and I wish you all would just leave me alone. I want to go to bed."

"We all wanted to go to bed hours ago Lux, but we were up waiting for you!" Baze yelled.

"I didn't MAKE you guys stay up!" Lux yelled back.

"Yes, yes you did. Because you're a teenager, and teenagers don't need to be out this late at night! ESPECIALLY when their parents don't know where they are…" Baze stood up and walked over to her. "And my God Lux something could have happened to you. Something's wrong and I think you just need to tell us… what is going on?" Baze questioned, his voice softer and more caring now.

"Nothings going on with me ok!?" Lux fired back. "I just…

"You just what?" I asked.

"I know that guy… the one who was staring at you. He was doing that because of me. He saw you with me, and he was probably just looking to see if I had run out to the car."

I stared at her for a minute before I realized she had no plans to continue talking to us. I watched as she turned and headed toward the attic. I couldn't believe she was just walking away. I jumped up and headed after her, Baze and Ryan following close behind. She headed up the ladder and the three of us followed.

"Umm some privacy please!" She said, obviously annoyed.

"You're obviously hurting, and we are going to stay with you until you talk to us! Even if it takes days!" Baze said.

"That's right," Ryan added. "Cause we're all family now… like it or not!" He added as he looked at Baze.

"Fine then you three talk amongst yourselves, but I'm going to sleep!" Lux looked at

us stubbornly and laid down on the bed.

I knew the game she was playing, so I walked over to the bed grabbed an extra blanket and lay down on the floor. Ryan laid down right next to me and Baze took the rug. It wasn't comfortable, but I felt like this was the right thing to do. Lux turned the light out, and we all just laid there in the dark. I couldn't get comfortable. I kept trying to use Ryan as a pillow, but the floor was just too hard. I looked over at Baze and saw that he was wide awake staring at the ceiling. I sighed and then gave up. The room fell silent, but no one was asleep.

"I was 10." Lux said into the darkness. "He… Ted… was my foster dad at the time."

*** More to come soon. I realize that at this time in the real Life Unexpected, Bug is gone, Tash is gone, and Ryan and Cate are not together anymore… However for this story all relationships are the same as they were the first few weeks. In this chapter I was trying to do 2 things, 1. Show some interaction between the 3 adults. 2. I wanted to make sure Lux found a way to tell them so that she wouldn't have to look them in the face and see them react to the news.

In the next update we will learn more about Ted.


	4. The Truth

*** IN THIS CHAPTER LUX IS FORCED TO FACE SOME SERIOUS PROBLEMS FROM HER PAST. I TRIED MY BEST TO WRITE THIS PART OF HER STORY WITHOUT BEING TO GRAPHIC ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED. THIS CHAPTER IS ALL ABOUT LUX REALLY... BY TELLING HER STORY, SHE IS ALSO COMING TO TERMS WITH WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A FAMILY, A REAL FAMILY WHO ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT YOU.

* * *

**LUX's POV**

"I was 10." I said into the darkness. "He… Ted… was my foster dad at the time." I took a deep breath and then continued. "At first I thought he was pretty cool. He would take me tomovies, the zoo, and the water park… He paid attention to me like no other foster parent had. I thought I finally had a good home with people who actually cared about ME and not justthe government check…" I stopped talking for a minute and thought about how to tell them the rest. "…But after a while things changed. He would do things like… like hug me from behind and 'accidentally' brush his hand across my chest, or… or put his hand up too high on my thigh when we were sitting next to each other."

I cringed at the thought of these things. I grabbed a pillow and hugged it tight. The next part of the story is the part I didn't want to tell! I'm afraid of saying the next part out loud,because once it's out I will be forced to deal with it… once it's out, I'm afraid of how everyone will react. This is one of my biggest secrets and I'm afraid after I tell them, I'll never be able to look them in the eye again.

"Lux?" Cate questioned as she stood up and turned on the light.

"NO!" I yelled as I rolled over and turned the light back off. "I can't tell you what I'm about to tell you with the lights on! I don't want to see your faces. I don't really want to talk aboutthis in the first place. It's hard for me to talk about, and it's going to be hard for you to hear… and seeing your reactions… well I just can't!" I watched Cate's shadow as she walked to the end of the bed and sat back down on the floor where she had been. I took a deep breath and continued. "One night I was getting ready for bed, when Ted walked in. He said he wanted to tuck me in… I lay down in bed, but instead of tucking me in he got in bed next to me. I knew it wasn't right, but I was 10! I didn't know what to say. Then he told me he loved me and that he was going to show me how much he loved me." My voice was starting to shake as I continued, and I knew I was about to lose control of my emotions. "He started touching me… inappropriately in areas that even being that young I knew he shouldn't be. So I tried to push him away, but he held me down by the wrists and told me that he loved me and that these are the kind of things people do when they love each other! He said that our love had to be a secret because…"

I was crying now, and more than anything I want Cate to hug me and tell me I don't have to say anything else, but I had told her… told them to stay away, that I didn't want to see them while I talked. I couldn't believe that in the middle of my story, I was having a revelation. All my life I had been pushing people away; I was doing it now even. But this is the first time I've ever felt like I needed someone. I just didn't know how to express it out loud, so I shook the thought from my head and continued. "…Because no one would understand. He told me that no one else wanted me and that if I told anyone I would have to leave… and if I left, no one would ever love me again. LET ME BE CLEAR… I never liked what he did to me, but I was stupid… so stupid and I believed what he said! Why did I believe him?" I whispered between tears. "No one ever wanted me, not in my whole life. So of course I believed him, I mean he was the only one that had ever cared! This went on for almost a year. I was always afraid to come home, afraid to have to go to bed. So I started trying things like staying at a friends place for the night or going to bed really early and locking the door… But that just made him angry! He started hitting me, mostly in places that could be covered by clothes. But one day when I wouldn't cooperate, he hit me in the face. I got a huge bruise that couldn't be hidden. I guess that's when my foster mom got suspicious. A few weeks later she was up in the middle of the night, and Ted was 'WITH' me… I was crying and he kept telling me to shut up…that's when the door opened and… well that was it, the next day I was back in a group home. To this day no one but Tasha knows about this. I honestly don't know what my foster mom used as an excuse for why she couldn't keep me, but it obviously wasn't the truth. I probably should have told someone besides Tasha, but I was afraid. I mean if no one wanted me before, then people definitely wouldn't want me if they knew I came with extra emotional baggage! Turns out it didn't matter anyway…" I breathed a sigh of relief as I rolled over onto my side, pulled the covers up to my chin, and cried into the pillow I was hugging close to my chest. After about a minute I felt someone place their hand softly on my head, and then felt a hand on my arm.

"Shhh… it's ok. I'm here." Cate said as she sat down on the bed.

Still hugging my pillow, I shifted my body so I could be closer to her. She sat there with me and let me cry until I couldn't find anymore tears and I finally drifted off to sleep.

* * *

*** IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, IT WILL BE THE DAY AFTER AND WE WILL SEE SOME REACTION FROM THE PARENTS. HOW WILL THEY HANDLE THIS NEWS, HOW WILL THEY ACT AROUND LUX...??


	5. Forget It

****A few things before you read! 1) Sorry it took so long! I've had the chapter ready, but I couldn't get it right. It seemed to be missing something, but I think it's okay now! Let me know! 2) THANKS SO MUCH for all the reviews! Knowing you all like the story makes it easier to write! I will try to get one more chapter up before I leave on vacation next week, but then you may have to wait a little bit for an update!**

********MOST IMPORTANTLY I JUST READ AN ARTICLE SAYING THAT AFTER LAST WEEKS RATINGS (it lost almost 300,000 viewers), IT'S ALMOST CERTAIN THAT LIFE UNEXPECTED _WILL NOT RETURN!! I AM VERY UPSET BY THIS B/C I REALLY THINK THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST SHOWS ON TELEVISION AND EASILY THE BEST ONE ON THE CW!! ***SO HERE'S WHAT WE CAN DO TO TRY AND SAVE OUR SHOW... 1) GO TO www. cwtv .com (sorry I had to put spaces in there cause I think they don't like website's posted!)click on feedback and then WRITE TO THE CW ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THE SHOW!!! 2) IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, SIGN THE PETITION!! YOU CAN FIND IT ON THE HOMEPAGE OF www. _****lifeunexpected. co. cc**** (sorry also had to add spaces) 3) IF ANY OF YOU READING THIS ALSO WRITE FAN FICTION, ADD THIS TO IT (NO MATTER WHAT TV SHOW IT IS) SO WE CAN GET THE WORD OUT TO MORE PEOPLE!!!**

**4) *** REMEMBER LIFE UNEXPECTED IS ON AT A NEW TIME MONDAY'S 8PM EST!! DON'T FORGET!!! TELL A FRIEND OR 2 TO WATCH, BECAUSE THE RATINGS FROM THE NEXT EPISODE OR TWO ARE GOING TO DETERMINE THE FATE OF THIS SHOW!! SO TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW TO WATCH!!!!********

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_**CATE'S POV**_

I opened my eyes and looked around the room. Lux was sound asleep beside me. Baze and Ryan were gone, but I could hear them talking softly down in the kitchen. I slowly stood up**, **and waited for a minute to make sure I hadn't woken Lux up. I quietly made my way down the ladder and into the kitchen to see what the guys were up too.

"Morning!" Ryan said as he walked over to give me a kiss. "Chocolate chip pancakes? Baze made `em."

"I don't think I can eat. I feel sick… maybe from only getting an hour of sleep or sleeping sitting up… but probably from feeling guilty!" I couldn't help feeling partially responsible for what Lux had to go through.

"Guilty?" Baze questioned.

"Lux… she shouldn't have had to go through any of that! I really thought that giving her up for adoption was the best thing. I wanted her to have a great family and more opportunities out of life… but I don't know I should've checked up on her. I should've made sure she was okay!" Ugh here I go crying again. I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked up and what I saw were two grown men about to lose it and start crying too.

"It's not your fault… what that guy did." Ryan tried.

"You're not listening to me. I know I am not responsible for what Ted did! But I was a smart girl! Very smart actually…4.0 smart! But how could I have been so stupid and careless when it came to Lux!"

"Look… I'm just as guilty. I didn't want a kid! I made that clear to you… I mean I never even wanted you to have her and I was no help to you at all back then! I was stupid too! But Cate it's in the past now and we can't keep going back to that time in our lives! Lux is here with us now and she needs our help… she…" Baze let his words trail off as he tried to choke back a cry. "How can anyone do that to a kid?" He cried.

"I know." Ryan answered, "But the question is, what do we do now? How do we help Lux? What do we say to her?"

"I just want to hug her… hug her and then get that guy Ted thrown in jail!" I said.

"Ted needs to be hung by his testicles! I swear if he ever comes near Lux again I'll run him down with my car!" Baze said sternly.

I sat down at the table and buried my head in my hands. I had to think, but I couldn't stop crying. I felt someone pull a chair up close to mine. It was Ryan. He pulled me towards him and I buried my face in his neck. We stayed that way for a few minutes before I sat up straight again. I looked across the table and saw Baze had pulled up a seat. His eyes were red rimmed, and he turned away from me when he saw me looking his way. I was overcome with this need to know what he was thinking. "Baze?" I questioned. "What should we do? What are you thinking about?"

"I uhh…" He sniffed. "I'm thinking about Lux. How alone she's probably felt all this time. How painful all of this has been for her! No one was there to… to protect her! More than anything I wish I could make all of this go away so she wouldn't have to hurt anymore!" Baze put his hand over his eyes and wiped the tears away then continued. "And I'm proud of her… for telling us! That had to be hard for her, I mean she's only known us for what a month or so?!"

"Yeah…" I answered. "But now I'm torn. I want to get her help! Let her talk to a professional or something, but at the same time I'm afraid if we do that she won't trust us anymore! I want her to be able to tell us anything!" I looked to Ryan and saw him nodding in agreement.

"I agree… and about Ted, I want to… I don't know! But we can't just let him get away with what he did!" Baze yelled a little too loudly.

"But what would you propose we do?" Ryan questioned. "I mean it's been 6 years… how would you prove he molested her?"

"You're right, but we have to do something! I don't want him near Lux… not in the same city… not even breathing the same air!!" Baze shot back.

After that, the room got quiet and we all sat there lost in our own thoughts.

* * *

_**LUX'S POV**_

I slowly opened my eyes, trying to let them adjust to the light. I rolled onto my back, looked at the ceiling, and let the realization of what I had revealed to my family hit me. I could hear them talking downstairs and now I had to go face them. I got out of bed, still in my clothes from the night before since I never had the privacy to change into my P.J's, and headed downstairs. I stepped down off the ladder and turned around. I wasn't prepared for what I saw. I knew what I told them would shock them and that they would be hurt, but they had been crying. For a minute we all remained the way we were. I looked at them and they avoided direct eye contact with me, but no one seemed to want to speak first. I don't think anyone knew what to say. "Morning…" I said hesitantly.

"Morning." Ryan responded. "Baze made Chocolate Chip pancakes."

"Thanks, but I'm not very hungry. I umm…" I looked at Baze and Cate, both of them had yet to say anything to me. They could barely make eye contact. "Please…please don't be upset with me." I pleaded. "I'm sorry… I never wanted to make you cry."

"Don't apologize Lux. We're so glad you told us, really we are!" Cate announced.

'Then why won't either of you look at me. Ryan is the only one who has even talked to me. I told you all about one of the most painful times in my life and all you can do is sit there? I shouldn't have told you!" I yelled at them at then headed toward the door.

"Lux!" I heard them shout as the three of them ran after me.

"Lux listen to me!" Baze begged.

I turned around to face them, and that's when I realized I wasn't afraid to talk to them about this face to face anymore Maybe it was the fact that I was angry, or the fact that I could hear the concern in their voices and see it in their faces. "I'm listening…"

"I'm sorry." Cate started. "We reacted to this all wrong. Before, when you came downstairs I didn't look at you, because I would've started crying all over again. I just didn't know what to say to you… without upsetting you!"

I watched as Baze nodded in agreement. "There really isn't anything you can say… nothing will make things better. And you don't have to hide your crying from me…I actually kind of assumed you would anyway…" I watched as Baze walked over to me and took me in his arms. He was actually hugging me pretty tight. He leaned his head down and rested it on top of mine.

"I'm here now kiddo." Baze said as he continued to hug me. "I wish I could stand here with you like this forever, and make sure nothing bad ever happens to you again. And I want so bad to make Ted pay for what he did to you…" Baze paused for a second and took a deep breath. "Most of all I just want you to be okay… anything you need you just tell us, because we just want to help you!"

I pushed Baze away and stepped back so I could be clear. "I don't need anything. I don't want help. I just want to forget it happened! I mean until yesterday at the store, I had pretty much pushed what happened to the back of my mind! As in I may never forget it, but at least I wasn't thinking about it 24/7!" I waited for a reaction, but they just stared at me like I was crazy, so I continued! "Besides Ted doesn't even live in the area anymore, so I'm not really sure why he was here, but I don't think he'll be an issue anymore!"

"I don't know Lux? The way he looked at me… it seemed suspicious! What if he does live around here? He could have moved back!" Cate questioned. She moved to stand in front of me and put her hands on my shoulders. "I'm sorry Lux, but if I see his sorry ass anywhere around town, he's going to wish he was dead! I won't be able to control my emotions, that's just how I am!"

"Cate don't! Leave it alone ok?!" I stepped back out of her grip and walked to the door. "I'm going for a walk to clear my head and when I get back, I don't ever want this topic to come up again!"

"There you go again Lux… always running from your problems. Nothing ever gets solved that way!" I heard Baze yell in my direction as I slammed the door behind me!

* * *

*** Ok hope you enjoyed!! Not to sound like a broken record, but don't forget to tell everyone you know to watch on Monday's!!! We can't lose this show!! I don't know about you guys, but I would go into a serious depression for a while!!!


	6. Publisher's Note

Hey everyone sorry to have to tell you, but I am not going to be able to update before I go on vacation! I wanted to, but I got unexpected mandatory shifts at work, and packing to do! I don't really even have time to sleep, and barely had time to write this! But don't worry I won't forget about this fic!! As soon as I get back at the end of the following week I will get an update up as quick as possible!!


	7. Pain

_**LUX's POV**_

I was only halfway down the street when I heard Baze and Cate yelling my name. I turned around and saw them running after me. I fought the urge to cry, because in my 16 years, no one has ever cared enough to run after me! I kept walking and they fell in step beside me, Baze on my right, Cate on my left. I think they realized I didn't feel like talking, so we walked silently until we reached the park a few streets over. I sat down in the grass and leaned back against a tree. Baze and Cate followed, but sat cross-legged opposite me. Cate finally broke the silence.

"Can I ask you something? I promise it has nothing to do with Ted."

"Okay."

"Obviously you've had a lot of crappy things happen to you in your life, and I'm here when you are ready to talk about them. But I need to know… did you EVER have good foster parents?"

I could tell Cate needed to know more about my past, so I guess I can try to cooperate. "I did have one good foster family. I loved them, and they were even considering adopting me."

"What happened?" Baze questioned.

"The question is what didn't happen? Pete, my foster dad had a great job, but something happened and he got fired. At the same time Claire, my foster mom, found out she was pregnant. That would be their 2nd kid. They already had a 5 year old son." I stopped talking and looked out into the distance.

"So… that's it? Is that all you're going to tell us?" Cate asked.

I knew that it was going to take a miracle to get through this without crying. "With everything that was happening to them, my social worker at the time thought it would be best to find me a new placement. My parents fought the decision… they were going through a very hard time, and they still wanted me…" I smiled and shook my head. Then came the tears. "They finally convinced the judge to give them a little more time to figure things out when… well a few days later there was a car accident. They both died. Claire's sister took their son, but no one wanted me…" I wiped away the tears. Both Cate and Baze moved closer. Cate put her hand on mine, I pushed it away, stood up, and began walking again.

"Why won't you let us get close to you?" Cate asked as she quickly ran up to me and turned me around to face her.

I shook my head and looked at the ground. I didn't know what to tell her… sometimes I don't even know myself.

"Lux, we know you have some hard feelings toward us. You know you can say anything to us, even if you think it will hurt our feelings…I don't know what it will take to convince you, but there is NOTHING you can say or do that will make us give you up! You are stuck with us now… I promise!" Baze shrugged and let out a nervous laugh.

"That's not really up to you guys! The state can take me away from you! My whole life has been filled with empty promises from people… so just… just…" I knew what I wanted to say to them. There are so many thoughts going through my head, and questions I have that I need answers to. I've just kept things inside for so long that maybe I'm just afraid of letting people in. Maybe I'm afraid of finally having to face my issues head on.

"Just what Lux?" Cate asked.

I looked up at Cate and Baze. Their eyes seemed to be begging for me to tell them something. A moment of honesty, that's all they wanted. "Look, the state can put me in a new foster home somewhere down the road… if they feel they need to. So don't promise me that you're not going anywhere!" I looked away for a second and then back at them. "I want to tell you guys things, but I just don't know how! Maybe you think it should be easy, and you say I can tell you anything… but I can't…not yet at least! You may be my birth parents, but I barely know you two! You want me to tell you about my past, but I know nothing about yours!"

"You're right! So how about we tell you a little about our past and then you tell us a little about yours?" Cate suggested, and Baze nodded in agreement.

I shook my head. "That's not how it works. I didn't say I wanted to share right now." I turned and started walking back out of the park. I heard Baze sigh loudly. He didn't say it, but I knew he was thinking it… I was running away again. I stopped and turned back to them. There was one question that I did need answered. "Why do you guys want me? I mean you didn't want me when I was a baby, but now I show up and suddenly you can't let me go! I mean I wasn't asking for anything but a signature when I came to you! Emancipation… that's what I wanted… and then there you both were, in the courtroom that day! Why? Is it some sort of guilt issue? Do you feel bad for giving me up and now you want to make up for it?" I took a few more steps toward them; the tears were flowing freely now! "If you're doing this for you because of the guilt, then don't! You can't make up 16 years… Neither of you were there for the FIRST 16 years of my life!! Actually, there hasn't been ONE SINGLE person who has been there for me for my entire 16 years! If I wanted someone to tell me a story about my CHILDHOOD I would have to hunt someone down and ask them! And even then it would be a social worker or… or foster parent and they have had so many kids come and go that they probably wouldn't even remember me!!" I took a long breath and tried to gain my composure. "You wouldn't have even been looking for me had I not come to you! You'll never make up for the years we lost… the years we could have been a family had either of you been more responsible! So PLEASE tell me why all of the sudden you WANT me?"


	8. Matters of the Heart

_**BAZE'S POV**_

I watched as Lux poured her feelings out to us. It was heartbreaking. The pain in her voice was so evident. The more I tried to hold back tears, the larger the lump grew in my throat.

"So PLEASE tell me why all of the sudden you WANT me?" Lux asked with a lot of desperation in her voice.

I looked at Cate begging her with my eyes to answer first. She wiped away the tears and then looked up at Lux. "I…" She took a deep breath. "It's not fair, what's happened to you Lux. It's not fair, and I do blame myself for that. I'm not going to lie and tell you that there's not some guilt involved, but guilt isn't the reason I want you! You mean everything to me! My whole life you've been my BIG secret… the one thing I could never tell people about, not even Ryan! And… I think it was because I never forgave myself for giving you up. But if I would have told someone that…" Cate didn't finish her sentence. She started crying again and looked away from both Lux and me.

"So you do want me for selfish reasons! You want me, because it makes YOU feel better!" Lux yelled.

"No Lux! I want you because I love you! I've always loved you! And when I first saw you in the parking lot outside the station I was… I was so happy. You were always on my mind! That's what happens when you give up a baby! You always wonder if you did the right thing! I'd recently been thinking about checking up on you… just to make sure a good family had, you know, adopted you… but it had been so long I didn't know where to start and then, well then you found me!"

I could tell Lux was fighting the urge to reach out to Cate. She still didn't seem to be completely satisfied. She was looking for more answers, and it broke my heart to know that nothing can fix her; she is too broken inside. The only thing we can do now is try and help her trust us. If we can't do anything else, we could at least make her feel safe and secure… something I'm sure she has rarely felt. "Lux…" I watched as Lux looked away from me. "Lux look at me…" She slowly turned her head and gave me her full attention. "You had a crappy life and you still turned out to be this AMAZING person. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to watch you grow up! I would have loved to have heard your first word, seen you take your first step, helped you learn to ride a bike..."

"You didn't even know Cate kept me… and don't pretend that if you did, you would have been there for all those things!" Lux interrupted.

"I should've known that Cate kept you. She kept trying to talk to me, but I always blew her off. I didn't want my life to be screwed up, but back then I didn't realize it wasn't just my life that was changing…" I turned to Cate and looked her straight in the eyes. "I should have been there for you! I know that now and I'm sorry! Maybe if I had, we wouldn't be having this conversation now…" I turned back to Lux. "And you kiddo, well, I'll never try and pretend that I have no fault for everything that happened in the past… I do feel bad! That's going to be something I will never be able to forgive myself for, but from now on I want to make sure the future… OUR future is a great one. I want to be there for your high school and college graduation. I want to walk you down the aisle one day, and see you have children… but not too soon okay?!" I quickly added and then laughed and Lux laughed too. We were all crying now. "One more thing Lux…this is it! We are a family now! I know you're afraid that the state could move you, but there is nothing they can do now that will keep me… keep us," I point to Cate and then myself. "From being with you!… I umm…Look I have a hard time saying this, well… you remember the first day we met and we were watching YouTube? I looked at you and asked if you think we look alike! That was when I realized that I umm… well you're my KID and I love you Lux!" I watched as something finally struck a cord with her. A slight smile crept over her tear-stained face.

"Do you mean that? You guys really love me?" Lux quietly asked.

"Yes…Yeah we mean it! Of course we love you Lux!" Cate walked over to Lux, looked right in her eyes, and then hugged her.

I stood back for a minute and watched. It was heart warming to see them this way. To think, I've been missing out on this my whole life. Cate and Lux separated just slightly and motioned for me to join them. I walked over and together we hugged. A family hug!

"I'm so glad you guys said that! Cause I love you too. But I was afraid to let myself get attached… In case either of you decided you didn't want me! I've done that almost my whole life! It makes it hurt less when people leave…"

I put my arm around Lux, and Cate did the same. Together we started walking back to the house. When we got to Cate's street, Lux stopped dead in her tracks. I looked at Lux and then followed her stare… there was a van parked a few houses down from Cate's and in it was a man. He was staring back… until he realized I'd seen him too. He gave the three of us one more quick glance before he put the car in drive and sped off.

"O my God he knows where I live." Lux whispered.

"Was that Ted?…That was Ted!" I yelled as the realization hit me! I pulled my keys out of my pocket and ran to my car. I heard Cate and Lux running after me. "Stay HERE!" I yelled. I put the car in drive and took off.

_***** Hey everyone! LUX's ratings have been up!! YAY, but the ratings for the next 2 episodes are CRITICAL! SO WATCH and make everyone you know watch!! Also don't forget to vote in the Save One Show Campaign on E!Online. The show that wins that is almost ALWAYS saved!! So vote for Life Unexpected! And vote over and over again!! Just vote then hit refresh and vote again!! LET'S SAVE our show!!!**_


	9. Publisher's Note 2

*** Hi everyone! I just thought I'd write a little note to once again thank all of you for your great comments and your continuing interest in this story! It definitely makes it more fun to write when I know you're enjoying it!***

*** Also obviously everyone here LOVES Life Unexpected! So we need to SAVE it from being cancelled!! E!Online has narrowed down its Save One Show campaign to 5 shows, and LIFE UNEXPECTED is one of them!!! The winner will be announced on the 12th so from now til then any down time you have PLEASE VOTE… and VOTE, and then VOTE again and again and again!!! We need to win this!! So if you want to help go to eonline .com - Watch with Kristin - Then scroll down til you find the Save One Show Campaign!!

After you vote, you can refresh the page and vote again! And the more times you do this the better!!! I know A LOT of people are reading this… and if you would miss Life Unexpected even just a little bit PLEASE VOTE!! And tell everyone you know to vote!!

***Ok that's all for my little campaign message! Once again thanks to everyone who reads this and I will try and have a story update for you by Wednesday!!


	10. Just Leave

*** So I know this is short. But I've been working SOOOO much lately and I've been tired! AND I've been trying to vote whenever I have extra time.**

BAZE's POV

I raced off in my car trying to keep Ted's van in sight. He had a pretty good head start on me, but thanks to a red light I finally caught up with him. I followed him for several more blocks before he finally gave up and pulled over to the side of the road. He got out of his car looked in my direction. I was trying to control my anger but I just couldn't! All those years I missed with Lux…all those years I wasn't there when she needed me! I got out of my car, walked right up to Ted, and punched him in the face so hard he fell to the ground. I stood over him as he gained his composure. He held his face right where I had punched him as he stood up cautiously.

"I guess I deserve that." Ted said dejectedly.

"Lux told us about you! Why are you following her? AND you better watch what you say, cause you don't know how bad I would love to see you put 6 feet under!" I shook my finger at him and waited for an answer!

"I want to see her, to make sure she's okay…I need to apologize."

"You want to apologize?" I questioned. "That's not going to happen! I don't want your sorry ass anywhere NEAR my kid!"

"Your kid? You adopted her?" Ted asked.

"Not yet, but in time yes… I'm her father! HER BIRTH FATHER! So me and her birth mom plan on adopting her!"

"Look…umm.." Ted looked to me obviously wanting my name.

"Nate…"

"Nate… I've changed! I'm not the same guy I was, but there is something I have to do before I can move on! I need Lux to know I'm sorry! Please?" Ted pleaded.

I stood there for a minute. I mean who am I to judge someone for their past. But what he did… it's just unforgivable! "Uhh… I'm sorry man, but I can't say I really believe you've changed. And even if you have, what you did to that girl… It was just sick! I don't want you around her! We are trying to help her get her life back on track. You hurt her! So I'd appreciate it if you'd never show your face around here again!" I turned and headed back to my car.

"You GAVE HER UP and she's obviously giving you another chance!" Ted shot back.

I turned around. "That's not the same!"

"No… but it's just a different kind of hurt." Ted said as he walked over to me. He handed me a piece of paper. "Here is my number and address. I REALLY just want to apologize, face to face. I promise you'll never see me again, but if you'd just tell Lux what I want… let her decide, I'd appreciate it."

I didn't say anything else. I just shoved the piece of paper into my pocket, got in my car, and drove off!

***Let me know if you think Baze should tell Lux what Ted wants or should he keep it a secret for a while?***


	11. Spinning Out of Control

_**CATE'S POV**_

Lux and I waited nervously on the porch for Baze to get back; neither of us saying a thing. I kept glancing over at her, but she was just staring into space. After what seemed like an hour I saw Baze's blue truck coming down the road. He parked and walked up the sidewalk towards us. Lux ran to him and grabbed his arm.

"What happened? Did you find him?" She practically begged.

"No… He had too much of a head start I guess, `cause I couldn't find him." Baze answered hesitantly, never making eye contact with her. Lux nodded and walked quietly back into the house. I waited for the door to close behind her.

"Lux may have bought that, but you aren't fooling me! Tell me what really happened?"

"Geez Cate! You're jumping my case before I even have a chance to talk to you! … I wanted… needed to talk to you before Lux. I DID find Ted… turns out he wants to apologize!"

"Wow… he wants to APOLOGIZE? And he does this by stalking our daughter? As if that isn't one of the creepiest things EVER! Well I hope you told him no! There is no way he will come near her… I'll get a court order!" I put my hands on my hips and began pacing the sidewalk.

"Of course I told him no, but then he threw a guilt trip at me about how `we gave up Lux and she's giving us another chance`!"

"That is soooo not the same!" I yelled.

"That's what I said! But he told me it's just a different kind of hurt or something…And that's true, so how can I fault him? I mean we may not have done… you know… what HE did, but we still hurt her!" Baze turned away for a second and then looked back at me. "Ted just wants us to tell Lux why he's here."

"Okay." I couldn't believe that came out of my mouth. The last thing I wanted was for Lux to have to face that monster again.

"OKAY? OKAY!" Baze shot back at me. "You WANT to tell her?"

"No I don't want to tell her, but I don't think we should lie to her either! We owe it to her to at least tell her this! The sooner the better too, because technically you already lied to her…" I walked up the stairs and through the front door. Baze followed behind me.

_**LUX's POV**_

After Baze came back and told me he didn't find Ted, I retreated to my room. I sat down on my bed and leaned back against the headboard. I don't know what I was hoping would happen. Ted deserved anything bad that ever happened to him, but did I really want Baze out there fighting a battle that's been over for years?

"Lux!" I heard Cate call. "Lux you up there? Will you please come down for a minute?"

I sighed as I got up and headed downstairs. Baze and Cate were both waiting at the bottom for me. "What's up?" I asked as cheerfully as I could.

"Let's go sit down in the family room. We need to have a little talk." Cate said as she led the way.

I looked questioningly at both of them, but followed them to the room and took a seat on the end of the couch. I turned and faced Baze as he began to talk.

"I umm…" He took a deep breath and then looked me straight in the eyes. "I lied to you… I actually did find Ted."

"WHAT?!?" I couldn't believe this.

"Yeah… It wasn't really that eventful. I did get a punch in."

"You PUNCHED him!?!" Both Cate and I yelled.

"Well yeah, just looking at him made me so angry! But he didn't really care. He got up and told me he deserved it. Look Lux…"

"O MY GOSH!" I was fighting the urge to run now. I didn't know how to react to this, Baze lying and punching Ted. I looked away.

"Lux…" Baze said again, trying to get my attention. "He wants to apologize. Apparently he's changed."

I stood up and started pacing the room. "Changed? People don't change!"

"People can change." Cate said quietly. "I've changed, Baze has changed… Because of YOU!"

I shook my head. "You two want me to do this? Seriously is that what you want?"

"We want you to do what you want to do!" Cate shot back.

My head is beginning to spin and I can't think straight anymore. So many old feelings are rushing back, and I'm fighting the urge to cry. I started thinking about having to see Ted. Images filled my mind, making me feel sick, and scared. It was almost as if it was happening all over again. I squeezed my eyes shut to try and get the images to go away, but it just made it worse. I could hear Baze and Cate saying my name, but it was so far away. My head wouldn't stop spinning; it was getting harder to breath…

_**CATE'S POV**_

I watched as Lux quickly closed us out and went into her own world. Both Baze and I kept calling her name, but I could tell she didn't even hear us. She seemed to be struggling to keep it together. Her eyes were closed tight and she started hyperventilating. Both Baze and I jumped up and ran over to her. She reached out for something to grab on to, and Baze grabbed her arm and caught her just as she began to fall. He lowered her to the floor gently.

"Lux! … "Lux sweetie… wake up!" I put my hand on her face and then felt for a pulse. "She has a pulse!" I said as I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Good. But now what do we do?" Baze questioned.

"I don't know, but I think we should take her to the Emergency Room. She probably just passed out, but her breathing seems unsteady. I would just feel better if we got this checked out!" I ran and grabbed my purse, then watched as Baze picked Lux up off the floor and carried her to the car.

* * *

*** Sorry my updates are taking longer! I don't have much time on my hands these days, so really I just write when I can! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I hope to have another one up sooner rather than later!***


	12. The Runaway

*****I am SO SORRY it took so long to update! IT WAS TOO LONG! I had some things going on in my life, and then I moved into a new apartment! So it's been carzy for a while! But I think I'll be able to update more often now! YAY cause I really do enjoy writing... it's relaxing! So enjoy! I was kinda lost with where I was taking this story, but I think I have a cool idea, so I'll see where this goes!*****

LUX's POV

I slowly opened my eyes and looked around the room. I was hooked up to an IV and a heart monitor. There was no one in the room with me at the moment. Just being here brought back bad memories, but waking up and having nobody with me was downright depressing! My head was hurting pretty bad, so I pushed the nurse call button. It took a minute, but the nurse came in, gave me some medicine through my IV, and unhooked the heart monitor. Then a few minutes later Baze and Cate walked in, followed by a doctor. They definitely looked like they had been crying, and that worried me. What did they know?

"Hey sweetie, how are you feeling?" Cate asked.

"I have a headache, but I'm fine." I smiled at her reassuringly. "So doc, what's wrong with me?" I watched as everyone exchanged glances. Then Baze stepped forward and took my hand in his.

" So kiddo, the doctor doesn't want to release you until you complete a program at a facility somewhere here in Portland,...sorry I can't remember the name of it." Baze looked me in the eyes and continued. "I guess when we saw your medical records, not everything was shared with us."

Deep down I knew what they were talking about, but I still reacted by saying, "I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Sweetheart," Cate said gently as she approached the bed. "How come you didn't mention to us that you tried to kill yourself last year?"

My eyes filled with water as I fought the urge to cry. "I…. I uhh…" I shook my head. I mean how do you talk about one of the darkest times in your life? "It's kinda personal and it's not just you… not even Tasha or Bug know about it! I made Fern promise not to tell… everyone just thought I ran away!" I looked up at Dr. Peterson questioningly. He moved a little closer to me.

"It shows in your file that you had completed the 6-week program that Dr. Henderson had enrolled you in last year. However at the end of those 6 weeks, he didn't feel like you were completely ready to be back in the real world, without a little extra help, so he ordered that you see a therapist twice a week for 6 more weeks." Dr. Peterson stopped for a second and flipped to a new page in my chart. "It says here, that you only attended 5 of those 12 sessions?"

He was waiting for me to tell him that's not true, but I wasn't going to play his game. "That's correct. I had other things to do! More important things, such as school! I had homework, and other commitments! Therapy was a waste of time!"

"Well Lux, I'm sorry you feel that way, because I'm entering you in another program." Dr. Peterson said sternly. "This time it will be for 12-weeks…."

"WHAT! NO… NO WAY! Cate, Baze come on you can't let him do this to me! Not now!" I begged.

"I'm so sorry Lux, but we don't have any say in this! We aren't legally your parents yet!" Cate said softly.

"But why…?" I pleaded. "I'm not suicidal now!"

"Well your therapist wrote in here that she believes you still have suicidal tendencies. I know that just hearing about your old foster dad, made you pass out, so I'm ordering 12 weeks, so that you will have time to really confront your problems. Lux, think of this as a chance to start over… Well I'll give you guys a little time to talk and in the mean time I'll go talk to your social worker."

I waited for Dr. Peterson to leave before making my final plea. "PLEASE… please don't let them take me away! I want to be with you guys! I WAS starting over with you… I don't need this program I don't… I don't!" I was in all out panic mode now. I had to sound pitiful with my mixture of begging and sobs! Cate came over, hugged me, and let me cry into her shoulder.

"Lux?" Baze questioned. "I want to be the good guy here and save you from having to go to this place, and to be honest, I've never seen 'suicidal tendencies' in you. But I also haven't known you that long and…"

"What are you saying?"

"I just think Dr. Peterson may be right… Maybe you aren't suicidal anymore, but you obviously have some deep -rooted issues! So maybe this program would be good for you. And then when you're through, we'll make sure you come back to us!"

I was fuming! I couldn't believe Baze turned on me! And Cate wasn't even saying anything, she was just nodding in agreement! "GET OUT! Both of you just GET OUT! I am so mad right now! I can't even think straight!"

"LUX! Don't do this!" Cate begged. "Don't push us away!"

I turned away from them and didn't even bother to respond. Everything was getting better; my life was getting better, and now this! I was through with them… with everybody! I needed to do something! I needed to get out of here before it was too late. When I rolled back over, I saw that Baze and Cate were gone, and I was alone in the room. I quickly pulled my IV needle out, and changed into my clothes that were neatly folded next to the bed. I had seen this kind of escape attempted on TV plenty of times, but I'm not sure if people really do it in real life! I walked to the door and peeked out; to my surprise I had been given the perfect room! To the left I saw there was and elevator just a few feet away. I looked to my right… I heard soft talking, but there was no one in sight. I heard the elevator ding and the doors open… a doctor ran out in a hurry, down a different hallway. I took one last look to my right, and when I didn't see anyone I ran into the elevator before the doors shut. I pushed the 'door close' button over and over again to get the door to shut faster, then I pushed the button for the lobby. When I got there I walked slowly out the door so I wouldn't draw any attention to myself, but once I got out to the street I took off running!


	13. Escape

LUX"S POV

I ran until I could barely breathe! I had to stop and think for a minute. I felt around in my pockets, and pulled out what I had in them. A tube of chapstick, and $52. I needed to get my money from Cate's, so I hopped on the Subway, and then caught the bus that took me closest to her house. I felt like a crook as I cut through the neighbor's backyards. As I approached the house I looked around for any signs of someone being home. I didn't see any familiar cars, so I grabbed the key from above the back door and went in. There was definitely no one here, so in a matter of minutes I had gone upstairs, grabbed some clothes and the $3,000 I had, and shoved it into a duffle. Then I ran downstairs and quickly threw some toiletry products, a few water bottles, and a bag of pretzels in my bag too. I jumped when I heard the phone start ringing. The answering machine picked up and Cate began talking… "Lux… Lux are you there? If you are please stay and we can talk about this. We will work something out…"

Suddenly I heard a car door slam outside. I took a quick peek to see who it was… It was a police officer. He was heading up the walk toward the front door. I grabbed my bag and took off out the back door. Once again I was running through the neighbor's back yards. I reached a wooded area, and pushed through some tall grass and overgrown bushes, until I was hidden from view in any direction. I sat down in the only semi-clear area I could find. Time to think, what was I going to do? I had nowhere to go, and no plan. I sat there for a while until an idea came to me, it wasn't a good one but it was the only plan I had.

I grabbed a hoodie out of my bag and made sure my hair was completely covered, then I made my way to the Greyhound bus station. I wanted to purchase a ticket from one of those machines, but I didn't have a credit card. So I headed to the counter. The man at the window looked seasoned, like he had worked here for years and wouldn't take any crap from anyone. "Hi I'd like to purchase a ticket to Cincinnati please." I said nicely.

"Ok, that will be… $220."

I reached into my bag and pulled out my money. "Just a second." I say as I sorted through it.

"How old are you anyway kid?" He asks.

I wondered why he was asking? Was there an age restriction? I didn't think so. "I'm 18." I answer just in case minors couldn't travel.

"Can I see some ID?"

I wasn't sure what to do now. I only had a school ID, and that would give me away as a minor. So I pretended to root around in my bag for my wallet, and then used a safe answer. "O shoot, I forgot my wallet at home!" I glanced up at him and could tell he wasn't buying it. In fact he was really analyzing me. He picked up the phone and made a quick call. About a minute later two police officers were heading toward me. To my knowledge riding the bus wasn't illegal, so this only meant one thing… they knew about me running away. Of course! The bus stations and airports are always one of the first places put on alert for runaways! I saw that once in an article I read somewhere. I don't know why I didn't remember that. The officers were still a good distance away, so if I took off running now I had a good chance of escaping. I took a look behind me and saw a fence. Behind it was what looked like an old train field, with a lot of beat up buildings. I knew if I could hop the fence I would have no problem getting away. I didn't want to waste anymore time, so I took off running.

"Young lady STOP!" I heard one of the officers yell, but I kept running. "STOP, that's an order!" I heard him yell again. He was a little more out of breath from running now. Then I heard the other officer on his radio say, "We have a Code 37 at the Greyhound station on NW 6th Ave. Possible missing person, requesting backup."

I reached the fence and threw my bag over with no problem, but the fence was higher then I had thought. I got a good hold on it, and started climbing as fast as I could. I got to the top and jumped to the ground on the other side. I turned around and reached down for my bag just as the officers reached the fence and started climbing. I looked the one cop right in the eye, then turned and started running. "We have confirmation, this is the runaway child we are looking for. She took off on foot through the old train junk yard behind the bus station."

That was the last I heard from those officers. I ran behind a bunch of buildings, then cut down the first alley I saw, then I jumped a fence that led to some old railroad tracks. I looked both ways and noticed that if I went right, there was an old bridge that went over what looked to be an old tunnel. I wasn't sure but I ran toward it anyway in hope of finding an escape. I moved slowly down the steep hill to the bottom, then, walked under the bridge and noticed that whatever this had been was now boarded up. I did notice a small place where I could hide out for a while. It was completely hidden and no one would look for me there. I walked up the hill a little bit, then slipped into my little hiding spot above one of the old rusted metal supports of the bridge. Now what was I going to do? It was time to think again. Was going through all this worth it, just to keep from being put away somewhere for 12 weeks? The simple answer was yes. I know I have problems, and I know that I think about killing myself, more then a few times a day, but I also know that I want to keep all of that to myself. I don't want to confess my deepest, darkest pain to family even, let alone perfect strangers! I suddenly feel really tired, so I try to get as comfortable as I possibly can in this cramped space and do my best to get a little sleep.

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***** The next chapter will be all about Baze and Cate's reaction to this! I have a very specific way that I think they would react to this if it really happened,! I actually can't wait to write that chapter!*****


	14. Break Down

***For the sake of moving this story along, I'm going to jump ahead in the story. It has now been a month, and Lux is still missing. ***

_**CATE'S POV**_

Here I am again for about the thousandth time this month, sitting on Lux's bed staring into space. I sit there thinking about something we may have missed, or other places Lux might have gone. We have searched practically every inch of Portland and its surrounding areas, and haven't even had one lead to go on. We've put out missing persons fliers, had her picture on TV, we even had volunteers help with a thorough search around the area she was last seen. Ryan and I talk about her everyday on the radio, hoping that maybe she's listening somewhere and will come back. My mind starts to wander to the reason she ran away in the first place, and I start to cry. I can't help but think that the possibility is there that maybe she… I can't even say it. A few minutes later I feel someone sit down next to me.

"Cate don't do this to yourself. She'll show up! I know she will 'cause she loves us!" Baze reassured me.

"No! She loved us, until we betrayed her! I want her with me… with us!" I was sobbing hysterically at this point, but I was on the brink of a break down. "I just want to hold her and make everything better, but I can't…" I said through sobs.

"Neither of us can Cate, but coming up here everyday and crying isn't going to do anyone any good… You need to come down and get something to eat, and then we will go for a drive." Baze said as he put his hand on my back and waited for an answer.

"Well I'm not really hungry, but I'd like to go for a drive." I replied.

_**BAZE'S POV**_

I kept glancing over at Cate as we drove up and down random streets throughout the city. She was looking at every person we passed just hoping that maybe one of them was Lux. I was the same way the first 2 weeks Lux was missing, until one day the police sat down and told us that the likelihood of us finding her after this much time was slim. She could be anywhere by now. I pulled over to the side of the road and turn to face Cate. "We really need to talk. About all of this… we always beat around the bush, but never bring up the possibility that maybe she is gone."

"Well obviously she is gone Baze! I mean why else have we not seen our daughter in a month!" Cate yelled at me.

"That's not the kind of gone I mean. What I'm saying is…" I swallow as tears fill my eyes, then I continue, "What I'm trying to say is that we should prepare ourselves for the worst."

"NO! No I refuse! We will not talk about this! Lux is ALIVE… she's alive!" Cate yelled angrily before pushing open the door and exiting the car.

I got out quickly and followed her. "Where're you going?"

"I don't know, but I'm not sitting in that car with you! YOU'RE her DAD! How can you think that way?" Cate stopped quickly and turned to face me.

"Because Cate… 'cause like it or not neither of us really know OUR daughter! She is as new to us as we are to her! She tried to kill herself last year… why? I don't know, because she never told us! And I'm guessing her life isn't going too well for her right now with the running away and all… so excuse me Cate if I'm extremely frightened that there is a possibility that she may have killed herself!" As soon as it came out of my mouth, I regretted saying it. It was no longer a thought pushed to the side. I watched as Cate completely broke down. She was having trouble even standing, so I stepped forward and took her in my arms and just let her cry. That's when I decided, that no matter what I was going to find Lux. Cate is right, I'm her dad and I can't give up this easily. I will not rest until she is back with us. Suddenly I remembered a conversation Cate and I had with Lux a while back, and it gave me an idea on how to find her. The chances were small that it even meant anything, but I had to try something!

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***Sorry it's not very long. I've had a busy week of work and haven't had any time to write! But I wanted to at least get a little something up for everyone who likes this story!***


	15. Leads

BAZE'S POV

I was sitting with Cate and Ryan in Cate's living room. We had papers scattered all over the table, trying to make something out of nothing. Over the past two weeks, we had gone to all but two of Lux's old foster homes, hoping that maybe one of them had some information. The two families we hadn't visited, was Ted and his ex-wife, and the foster parents who had died tragically. My thought had been that maybe after telling us that she would have to hunt someone down to get stories about her childhood, that maybe that's exactly what she did. However that idea was quickly looking like it might be a dead end.

"So I think we should find Ted. Or his ex-wife!" Cate suggested.

"But why would she go to them? She seemed pretty frightened just by the idea that Ted was looking for her." Ryan shot back.

I was trying to listen to their conversation, but at the same time I was reading something Lux had written a while back.

"Baze… hello earth to Baze…" Cate said trying to snap me out of my trance.

"I think I know where Lux is…" I said slowly as I continued reading.

"Ok care to share then." Ryan said obviously irritated.

"Yeah listen to this, I found it in Lux's file. I don't know why I didn't read this before, she got an A on the assignment she wrote it for a class…" I sat up straighter, and then began reading. "I know that this journal entry is supposed to be about family, but I've never really had a real one. I guess there are all kinds of families though. Mine has usually always consisted of just me, but recently I was put with a great family. I really hope they will adopt me, but I'm afraid to ask. I've been disappointed too many times and I don't think I can take another rejection. After a few families turn you away, you start to develop a complex. You think maybe something is wrong with you. Am I pretty enough, am I too old, do I have a bad personality…? But this family makes me feel good about myself. I feel like I finally fit in somewhere! The best part is, that if they adopt me I will have a little brother. His name is Tyler and he is 5. I already love him so much! Really all I ever wanted was parents, but a sibling would be awesome too. The other day Claire, my foster mom, took Tyler and me to the park. I'm not sure why she came, because I'm old enough to take care of Tyler by myself. I liked being around her though. She bought us ice cream and a kite. Then Tyler and I spent the rest of the day flying it while Claire sat and watched us. It was one of the best days of my life. Other families I've been with have hit me, cussed at me, abused me in other ways I don't want to get into, and one foster mom I had even spit in my face! But when I'm with Claire I know I'm safe. She actually seemed happy to just sit there doing nothing but watch Tyler and me play with this kite. I'm going to do everything I can to be pleasant, and stay out of trouble. I'm also going to be the best big sister ever! I want to be a good role model for Tyler. He's a cool kid, and I'd really miss him if I had to leave and go to a new foster home. If this family doesn't adopt me, then I will give up trying. I'll be 18 in 4 ½ years, but I don't really think I would care much about anything. If you don't have a family then what's the point?"

"O my gosh! She told us about Claire and Pete, but I just figured she was younger when she was with them! But this wasn't too long before she came looking for us! She tried to kill herself a year ago… so O my gosh!" Cate was starting to figure out the puzzle. "So she probably tried to kill herself because of what happened with her foster parents… And all of it was right there in that journal entry! How did her teachers not pick up on something? How did they not know something was wrong, when it was right there in that paper?"

"If you don't have a family then what's the point?" Ryan read from the paper again. "This paper was written before they died, so no one would have remembered what she said in this paper Cate."

"You guys are missing the big picture here." I said as I waved to get their attention. "I think Lux went to find Tyler."

"Baze come on… I don't think so." Cate said doubtfully.

"Fine don't believe me, but I'm going to find out where he is and go get my daughter! I mean in the paper she went on and on about him. She obviously loved the kid, and it wasn't that long ago, so she probably still misses him… I don't know, maybe you're right Cate, maybe it's nothing, but I have a feeling she went to find him. We have nothing else to go on, so I am using this!" I shuffled through the papers looking for Pete and Claire's last name. I skimmed down a list and saw it was Hawkins. I stood up and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" I heard Cate say as she came up behind me.

"I am going down to the police station to try and hunt down Tyler Hawkins." I continued out the door, and I could feel Cate and Ryan following close behind me.

"Fine but we're coming with you." Cate added.

"I thought you said this was nothing."

"I did, but now I'm thinking what if it's something… and I want to be there when we find her."


	16. Caught?

*****So I wrote this chapter kinda quickly and I'm super tired! So I'm sorry if there are any glaring mistakes! Anyway I just wanted to get at least something posted for you! So enjoy! And thanks to everyone who reads and reviews this story! You all are awesome!*****

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**CATE'S POV**

Baze, Ryan, Officer Garrison, and I pulled up outside a nice two-story brick house, in a very nice neighborhood about a 45 minute drive from Portland. We were in an unmarked police car. After we had gone to the police station, they had insisted that since this was an open case and Lux was a potential suicide risk, that police presence was necessary. They insisted on an unmarked car, so that Lux wouldn't see the police car and run.

In the front yard we saw some kids running around playing and their moms all sitting around talking and enjoying the day. As we approached them, they all got quiet and turned their attention to us.

"Hi, my name is Officer Garrison. Which one of you ladies is Mrs. Duncan?"

"That would be me." She said as she stood. "Is something wrong?"

I watched as she looked each of us over while she waited for the officer to respond. She was very pretty. Blonde hair, blue eyes… she probably looked more like Lux's mom than I did.

"We were wondering if you know the whereabouts of Lux Cassidy? We have reason to believe that she may be headed here to see Tyler Hawkins." Officer Garrison probed.

"Lux! Yeah she came by yesterday to see Tyler, but he was out with his Uncle so she said she'd be back. I told her she could stay here… actually I insisted, but she turned the offer down. Why are you here looking for her?"

"She ran away!" I blurted out. "About 7 weeks ago. We've been looking everywhere for her! She tried to kill herself a little over a year ago, and we were so worried that maybe… but you saw her yesterday so she's still alive!" I put my hand over my mouth as I tried to fight back the tears that were coming. Ryan put his arm around me and pulled me closer. I didn't mean to tell her all that information, but I was just overwhelmed with the fact that we were so close to finding Lux. It was like she was almost within arms reach.

"Can I ask you something Mrs. Duncan?" I heard Baze say.

"Ann. Please call me Ann. And sure go ahead."

"I don't want to come across as rude or anything, but I just need to know… Ummm after Claire and Pete, you know, after they passed. You took Tyler… I mean obviously, but why not Lux?" Baze asked. I hit him really hard in the arm to show that I didn't approve of the question, but I actually really did want to know the answer.

"Is that what she told you?" She asked and we nodded. "That's not true at all. We did want her… Claire and Pete, they loved that girl to death. We, my husband and I, we knew that they would roll over in their grave, if we didn't make sure Lux had a good home. We brought her here with Tyler, but we knew something wasn't right. She didn't talk to anyone except Tyler, she barely ate anything, she couldn't sleep, she skipped school, and then one day she disappeared. We did look for her, and about 2 weeks later we got a call from her social worker. Lux was in the hospital. She told us she was suffering from exhaustion, and also that she was going to go back to Sunnyvale. That was pretty much the last we saw of her until yesterday."

"Ma'am is there anyway we could go inside and wait for Lux? If we stay out here she is likely to see us and run, before we even know she saw us." Officer Garrison asked.

"Yeah sure. Just a second." I watched as Ann talked to one of the other mothers, and then called for Tyler to head inside with the rest of us.

When we got inside we all started talking about the situation, and the reason Lux ran away. Ann couldn't believe that she never realized that Lux had tried to commit suicide. When her husband got home, we watched as she relayed the story to him. She started crying when she told him, because she had seen the signs but never acted on it. Ann was a very nice lady. She excused herself to make some dinner for her husband, Dave, and Tyler. Even though we insisted that we weren't hungry, she still made extra for us. Soon, it began to get late and we started to wonder if Lux would ever show up.

Ann was just getting ready to go get Tyler ready for bed when there was a knock at the door. My heart skipped a beat, and I immediately felt nervous. Ann and Dave both left the room and went to answer the door. We heard them open the door and then Lux's voice. I wanted to cry again, just from hearing her voice. I wanted to run to her, hug her, but we had been instructed to wait until the Duncan's led her into the room.

We listened as Tyler and Lux exchanged hi's and I miss you's. Then we saw Lux. She had her arm around Tyler, and Ann and Dave were leading her in our direction. She looked a little tired, and her hair was all out of sorts, but overall she looked like she was okay, so I breathed a sigh of relief. Suddenly Lux looked up from talking to Tyler, and that's when she saw us.

"NO!" She exclaimed as she quickly turned to run. But as she turned to go, Dave stepped in front her. She then tried to move past him, but Ann blocked her way. That's when she realized she was stuck, and finally turned to face us.

"Tyler say goodnight to Lux and head upstairs please!" Ann said.

"I don't want to yet! I want to hang out with Lux a little longer… please Aunt Ann?"

"Tyler please do what your told. Now say good night to Lux." Dave said sternly.

We watched as Lux looked at all of us and then bent down, so she was at eye level with Tyler. "Hey buddy. I'm glad I got to see you. I've missed you so much."

"Are you going to be here tomorrow when I wake up? I wanna fly a kite with you like we always did with momma." Tyler sounded concerned.

"Awww pal, I don't know if that can happen. I'm really sorry." Lux looked at the ground, and then back at Tyler. Both of them had tears in their eyes.

"It's just that I really miss mommy and daddy. And then you left me, and I really miss you Lux! Please don't go!" Tyler threw his arms around her, and Lux hugged him tight while he cried. After a minute or so, Lux pulled away and looked at him.

"I promise I'll come around more now ok?" Lux said as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "I only live in Portland, and I'm sure your Aunt and Uncle will let me come spend some weekends with you! Okay?" Lux reassured him.

"Okay… well night then." Tyler said. Then he leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Love you." He said it so quietly, that we could barely hear him. Then he headed out of the room and Lux turned her attention back to us.

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**LUX'S POV**

My exchange with Tyler broke my heart. I had missed him so much, but I guess I didn't consider that maybe he missed me just as much. I really felt like crying now, for a lot of reasons. For not considering Tyler's feelings, for never having really dealt with Pete and Claire's death, for getting caught and having to see the hurt in both Cate and Baze's faces. I was definitely on the verge of a breakdown, but I knew I had to hold it together a little longer. I wanted to get out of this room, but I was trapped. I wasn't going anywhere without a fight.


	17. This is It

***** I'm dedicating this update to _tutorwife93_! Sorry I was away so long... life just spins out of control sometimes! Anyway this update is for you! Hope everyone enjoys it, and I will try to keep the updates coming... WARNING though... the next couple chapters will probably be kinda dark! But it just has to be that way while Lux sorts through her issues! And also Ted will be back in the story... since he is a big issue for her! ANYWAY HOPE EVERYONE IS ENJOYING THIS SEASON OF LIFE UNEXPECTED! I THINK IT'S PRETTY AMAZING! I WAS READING THAT THE RATINGS FOR TONIGHTS EPISODE (10/19/10) WILL BE A MAJOR FACTOR IN DECIDING THE SHOWS FATE! SO PLEASE EVERYONE WATCH IT AND TELL A FRIEND OR TWO TO WATCH IT, AND THEN HAVE THOSE FRIENDS TELL FRIENDS TO WATCH IT. AND WELL YOU GET THE POINT!*****

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**LUX'S POV**

The room I was standing in was brightly decorated and had family pictures hanging on the walls. In those pictures everyone was smiling and happy, which is the exact opposite of the mood in the room right now. I looked around the room at everyone, but it seemed that nobody wanted to be the first to speak. Finally my eyes settled on Cate. I wanted to hear from her first.

"So are you ok… physically I mean. Like you're not hurt or anything right?" Cate asked me.

"I'm fine." I answered. I watched as Cate nodded and bit at her bottom lip. I knew she was trying to hold herself back from saying what she really wanted to say. "Just tell me what you're thinking Cate! I'm pretty sure this situation can't get much worse, AND it's not like I can run!" I said as I looked back at Ann and Dave.

"Ok… Ok then fine! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING LUX! Running away! That's no way to solve any problem… I mean you could have been hurt, or lying in a ditch somewhere dead! I mean that's what we were beginning to think had happened! Do you know how worried we were? Do you EVEN understand how much it hurt us that you chose to run away?" Cate paused to take a breath, but before she could continue I interrupted.

"It probably hurts as much as, say, knowing your parents didn't want you so they threw you away like you were nothing!" I shot back.

"Hey now, that's unfair Lux! Don't be throwing that in our faces, that discussion is for a different time and a different place!" Baze interjected. "Besides we already had this discussion a while back in the park… remember? I thought we had kinda worked through this issue then!"

I looked at both Cate and Baze. They both looked so upset, but I couldn't let that affect me. "Yeah that was a good talk, but honestly I just don't know how to get over it. I don't think I ever really will!"

"Lux, where have you been for the past 7 ½ weeks?" Officer Garrison asked, trying to change the topic back to the reason we were here now.

"Staying with friends. Friends I'm not going to tell you anything about, cause that's none of your business." I took a step toward the officer. "I know you're a cop, and I know your game. I'm not playing it!"

"You're just mad that you got caught!" He threw back at me.

"Damn straight! I know I hurt all of you, but I can do better on my own. I don't need parents, I don't need lecturing or… or counseling! The only person who knows what I really need is me!"

"And what is that Lux? What do you need?" Ryan questioned.

"What I need is for you guys to let me go! Go back to pretending I never existed and move on with your lives." I was really trying hard not to cry, because I knew that's not what I really wanted. I turned to leave, but once again I was stopped; this time by Officer Garrison. "Let go of me!" I said sternly, and when he didn't, I put up a fight. I had to get out of there more than any of them could know. I got out of his grip and quickly moved past him, right into Baze's grip. He grabbed my arm and quickly pulled me back into a hug. He hugged me tight, so tight that I knew I couldn't escape.

"I will hold you like this as long as I have to, but I'm not letting go until you agree to sit down here and talk to us… like the adult you think you are… ok?"

"The adult I think I am?" I reiterated as Baze loosened his grip and looked down at me. I stepped back and took a look around the room. Everyone, except Officer Garrison, had tears in their eyes. I wanted to feel bad for them, but this conversation was getting personal! "I just… Look, maybe you don't think that I am acting like an adult, but what you don't seem to get is that I'm 16 and I've been to hell and back more times then you even care to know!"

"We do care… to know I mean!" Cate added.

I turned around and realized Ann and Dave weren't going to let me go anywhere, so I reluctantly sat down on the couch. I was starting to get nervous because I didn't know what was going to happen next. Even if I talk, there's still the impending 12-week stay at some place for crazies.

"Ok then Lux, please tell us where you've been the past 7 ½ weeks?" Officer Garrison asked me again.

"No." I answered.

"Well then I guess it's time to head out and get you settled in your new home for the next 12 weeks."

"And where's that?" I said curiously.

"5th floor of the Portland Medical Center."

"THE PSYCH WARD! I don't need to be there… those people are freaking crazy!" I stood up and walked right up to Officer Garrison. "Do I even have a choice? I mean if I talk now… or…" I watched his face as I was talking and I just knew. "O I get it, I have no choice. No matter what I'm going straight to the looney bin!" I walked over to the furthest corner of the room, to get as far away from everyone as I could. I leaned back against the wall and stared up at the ceiling to keep the tears from falling.

"Lux it's not the looney bin. There are just people there who are going to help you." Ryan said calmly.

I shook my head, but didn't say anything.

"Lux…" Cate said as she stood up and walked toward me.

"Don't!" I said as I put my hand up to stop her from coming any further.

"Lux, why do you tell people that Dave and I didn't want you?" Ann asked.

I looked her straight in the eyes, but I was just too upset now to talk about anything. "I don't want to talk about this."

"Well we want to know please…please Lux!" Dave pleaded. "We had made it very clear that we wanted you! So why would you think we didn't?"

I took a deep breath before answering them honestly. "Because no one ever REALLY wants me!" I looked back up at the ceiling to blink away the tears, so no one would see them. But I'm sure my trembling voice gave me away. "People will say they want me, but things happen, people change. Before I know it those same people that wanted me, are making up excuses for why they can't keep me around!"

"That's not true of ALL people…" Ann pleaded.

"Except it is… I just saved you the trouble of finding that out." I headed over to where they were standing. "Please let me leave! You can't hold me against my will… none of you are even my parents!"

"Maybe not legally, but we are your parents Lux. You forget we have temporary custody of you." Baze stated.

"Actually I make those decisions, and right now Lux, you are coming with me." We all watched as Fern pushed her way into the room and grabbed my arm.

"No!" I said and pulled my arm away. "You can't take me to that place! PLEASE!" I pleaded.

"You have no say in this. Let's go now!" She added sternly.

"FINE!" I said stubbornly. I was pissed now! "But let me tell you all something… this will be the last time ANY of you will see me! I won't be taking visitors…I won't talk to any of you! I won't talk to a therapist! I just won't talk! And I guarantee I won't be in this place for 12 weeks! I'll find a way to escape or… maybe I'll just find a way to end it all! But I PROMISE if you put me in this place, it's just going to help reinforce what I already know; I was never meant to be here! My whole life people have just been trying to figure out what to do with me. Foster home after foster home, and still no one wanted me! How sad is that?" I looked up at Cate and saw her crying. "The best thing you could have done for me, Cate, would have been if you had just gone through with the abortion!"

"Please don't say that!" Cate said tearfully.

"Nobody can help me anyway. I'm too messed up inside." I whispered, as I let Fern lead me out of the room.


	18. Ours

*****Sorry this update took so long y'all! (Haha that's the Kentucky in me coming out!) Anyway, I had a bunch of family stuff to do, with Thanksgiving and everything. I've actually had this written for a while, but haven't been home long enough to upload it! ALSO, I kinda went into severe depression myself when I found out LUX didn't get it's back 9 episodes... which pretty much means it's cancelled :( And CBS apparently already has a show lined up for K-Po next season so... *tears***

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**LUX POV**

I left Ann and Dave's house with Fern and she took me straight to Portland Medical Center. The ride was a quiet one. Fern did everything she could to get me to talk and I give her credit for trying, but I had already decided to go silent.

Once we got to the hospital, Fern signed me in, and then someone was sent down to bring me upstairs. When I got there, a nurse took me into a room where I was strip-searched. I guess they were looking for anything that I might be able to use to "off myself". I wish I could say this was one of the most humiliating things that have ever happened to me, but the truth is that it doesn't even come close. In the grand scheme of my life, this strip search is nothing.

After I had my physical, the nurse asked me a few questions all of which I ignored. Then she told me that because I had threatened suicide earlier, I was going to be put in my own room overnight with round the clock observation. Also I was going to be put in some sort of straitjacket for the night and because of how late I came I would have to wait until tomorrow to see a psychiatrist. Not like it's going to matter anyway! I'm serious about this not talking thing!

About an hour later I was curled up on a bed in a room with padded walls. I had use of my legs, but the jacket they put me in kept my arms stationary. The room was dimly lit and there were cameras in each corner of the room. I wasn't tired so I got up and walked around for a bit before sitting myself down in a corner. My brain wouldn't quit, and I was beginning to see the real dangers that I was going to have if I really went through with not talking to anyone.

Why is this happening to me? Am I really that bad of a person? Am I so screwed up that I can't be trusted with myself? Are Cate and Baze mad at me now? Do they even have custody of me anymore? They probably don't, and even if they won't admit it, it has to be a load off their shoulders! I mean before me, maybe their life wasn't perfect, but they didn't have the baggage that I bring with me wherever I go! I'm a failure… a loser… I shouldn't be alive! Really I'm not supposed to be here… this life I have, NO ONE should have this life! I never thought of myself as a bad person, but I know I must be because of the way people push me away… like I'm poison!

I shook my head and tried to wipe away the tears that were falling, but failed. I rolled myself over so I was lying on the floor. I started dozing off, and as I was all I could think about was dying. The sweet relief of death is the only way to end this pain.

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**CATE'S POV**

We left Dave and Ann's shortly after Fern and Lux left. Officer Garrison brought the three of us back to the police station, to get the car. Now we were heading over to meet with Fern in her office. We pulled in and walked upstairs, but from the looks of it Fern hadn't returned yet, so we sat on the couch outside her office and waited. Ryan had opted to wait in the car, so Baze and I would have time to ourselves to discuss the recent happenings. We sat quietly for a few minutes, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I finally broke the silence. "We hurt her Baze."

"We didn't hurt her Cate, other people hurt her!"

"Yeah, but it's our fault… my fault!"

"Ok we are partially to blame, but we didn't hurt her!"

"Yes Baze, we did! We can blame all of these other families, and just all of the bad people she has been placed with, but it all happened because of me…us! If we had been more responsible, less selfish…"

"WE WERE 16! No one is responsible at 16!" Baze yelled.

"I was! I knew I shouldn't be having sex with you! I knew it, but I don't know something happened and well… and then there was Lux. I went back and forth… keep her or put her up for adoption. Deep down I think I really wanted to keep her, but I kept thinking about how dysfunctional my family was… and then there was school. Going to college and raising a kid, I couldn't do it! So I went with adoption. You know when she was born I didn't even hold her?" I started crying. "I couldn't, cause then I'd want her! But now I wish I would've held her… she would have been in our lives this whole time, and yeah maybe we would have been a dysfunctional family, but at least she would have been safe!" Baze leaned toward me and I leaned against him for comfort. We stayed this way, until we heard Fern approach.

"Hi." She said as she unlocked her office door and motioned for us to enter.

"How's Lux?" I asked as Baze and I sat on the couch opposite Fern's desk.

"She's very depressed. She's refusing to talk to anyone, the nurses… me. It's like she has completely checked out. Also, because we believe she's a suicide risk, she'll be in a straight jacket for at least tonight… maybe longer depending on how her meeting with the psychiatrist goes tomorrow."

"I want to see her, when can I see her?" Baze asked.

"Well…" Fern began. "Eventually there will be visiting hours, but when Lux earns that privilege, she will also get to dictate who she wants to see. So really it's going to be up to her."

"Great, she hates us, so we'll never get to see her!" I looked at Baze and he seemed to be thinking the same thing. The pain I saw in his face was heartbreaking.

"Actually, I wanted to meet with you two today to talk about custody of Lux."

"Yeah, we've been wanting to talk to you too… we want full custody of her!" Baze said.

"I'm very sorry, but I can't do that. I'm having this meeting with you today to let you know that your temporary custody of Lux has been revoked."

"WHAT?" I yelled. "You can't do that… you can't have her!"

"That's not your decision… right now I believe that this is what's best for Lux."

"Tell me how this could possibly be what's best for Lux… I'm her DAD!" Baze yelled, as he stood up. "And Cate is her MOM! We are the only family she has! So tell me… how you think this is best?"

"Look!" Fern said sternly. "And Mr. Bazile please sit back down. I'm only TEMPORARILY revoking custody. After Lux completes her therapy successfully, we will reevaluate the situation."

"We want to adopt her. Give us the adoption papers and we'll get out of here." I demanded. I watched as Fern walked over to a filing cabinet and pulled out some papers.

"Here you go." She said as she handed them to me. "But I should tell you… they won't be approved anytime soon. The judge will never allow it."

"We will find a way to adopt her! She is OUR KID! Sixteen years ago we made a stupid mistake… the mistake wasn't that we HAD Lux it was that we didn't KEEP her! I know she hasn't been back in our lives long, but I… it's hard to explain, but there is this connection. And she's just such a great kid, she really is! She has changed us… our lives. We grew up overnight because of her and you know what… we see a girl with so much potential, a girl with a big heart. We just love her so much!" Baze stood up and reached for my hand to help me up, he was on the verge of losing it now, but he continued. "I guess we'll be seeing you soon… in court where we will be getting custody of our kid. We are adults now and I think it's time for us to show Lux that we are willing to fight for her!"

Baze stormed out of the room, pulling me behind him. We practically ran the distance to the car, where Ryan was waiting for us. I got in the car, but Baze seemed frozen. I couldn't tell if he was trying not to cry, or maybe trying not to hit something. "Baze?…Baze!"

He snapped out of his trance. "You two head home. I need to just… I don't know, think I guess."

"Baze we're like 10 miles from your bar! You're not going to walk it." Ryan added.

I watched as Baze just shrugged and began walking.

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***** Hope you enjoyed the update. I'll try to get another one or two up before Christmas, but I can't promise anything because I have A LOT of projects to work on! Thanks to all of you who read this! And an even bigger thanks to those of you who review! Either way y'all are awesome!*** **


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